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Filed under: Conspiracy Theories That Are Actually Love Stories, Pop Culture Analysis, Definitely Not Watching Too Much History Channel

Listen, I know how this sounds. But hear me out.

I've spent the better part of three years studying Ancient Aliens and I've come to a startling conclusion: this show isn't actually about extraterrestrial contact. It's about the most epic, centuries-spanning long-distance relationship in human history.

The Classic Rom-Com Structure

Every episode of Ancient Aliens...

From the sparkly notebook of Missouri's most unlikely romance author

Why Emotional Arcs Matter in Erotica

Here's the thing most writers get wrong about erotica: they think it's about the physical mechanics, but it's really about the emotional journey. Female readers (and honestly, most readers) don't just want to know what's happening - they want to feel WHY it's happening.

The difference between porn and erotica? Porn is about the mechanics. Erotica is about the feelings those mechanics create...

As dictated to my human, Tiffany Tingle, by Scully the Cat Posted under: Feline Wisdom, Dating Advice, Interspecies Communication

Greetings, inferior beings with the undeserved gift of opposable thumbs.

My human insisted I share my wisdom about "dating," which apparently is that bizarre ritual where you humans sniff each other inadequately and make poor territorial decisions. After observing her romantic failures from my perch atop the refrigerator, I've decided to enlighten you.

My colleagues...

Filed under: Kink Discussion, Sex Education, Things That Make Karen Clutch Her Pearls

Deep breath

Okay, we're talking about breeding kink. Yes, Karen, the one from my book club who knowingly beta read what I told you was "alien overseen smut" you pretended not to understand when you read about the breeding program in Abducted Love. Put down your pearls, pour yourself some of that box wine you hide in your Yeti tumbler, and let's have an adult conversation.

First Things First: Definitions

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Filed under: Writing Craft, Influences, No Politics Just Alien Sex

Let me start by saying this before anyone gets their panties in a twist: Abducted Love is not political. It's not woke. It's not a commentary on current events. It's about aliens who really, REALLY want to control humanity's future through our bloodlines. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes a breeding program is just an excuse to write steamy sex.

That said, every story comes from somewhere, and mine came from the...

Filed under: Gender is a Construct, Reader Love, Holy Shit People Actually Want to Read My Book

Okay, so something happened that has me shook in the best possible way, and I need to process it with y'all because my cats are tired of hearing about it.

I ran my first ever Goodreads Giveaway for Abducted Love (still can't believe I'm typing those words about an actual book I wrote and not just fever dreams I had after too much Thai food). The results?

• 1,048 people entered
• 945 people added it to...

Filed under: Writing Craft, Alien Anatomy 101, Things That Make My Mother Pray

We need to talk about tentacles.

Not in a "I've been watching too much hentai" way (no judgment if that's your thing). I'm talking about the tragic tentacle shortage in modern romance literature. It's 2025, we've got billionaires colonizing Mars, and yet most romance heroes still come equipped with the standard two arms, two legs, one disappointingly human penis setup.

Boring.

The Case for Conventional Deficiency

Look,...

Filed under: Author Journey, Book Launch, Better Late Than Never

Four years ago today, on August 13, 2021, I did something that terrified me more than any alien abduction scenario I'd ever imagined. I hit "publish" on Literotica.

"Dark Side of the Moon Pt. 01" went live with a prologue and four short chapters that would eventually become the first five chapters of Abducted Love. I was that person refreshing the page every twelve seconds, watching for comments like a teenager waiting for their...

Filed under: Definitely Not Paranoid, For Science, Plant Parenthood

Listen, I know how this sounds. But hear me out.

It started innocently enough. Like any Gen-Xer who watched too much X-Files and still has her original mood ring, I decided plants would fix my life. Within six months, my Victorian farmhouse looked like a jungle had a baby with a greenhouse. Everything was fine. Normal, even.

Until they started...watching.

Evidence File #1: The Philodendron Incident

Three weeks ago, I was writing...

You know what makes horror truly terrifying? It's not the monster lurking in the shadows—it's the fact that the monster could absolutely wreck you in a fair fight. And honey, horror is rarely fair.

Picture this: our cave-dwelling ancestors huddled around fires, swapping stories about their day. These tales probably fell into three categories that still dominate storytelling today: hunting for dinner (action/adventure), hunting for a mate (hello, romance!), and trying not to become dinner...